AS EASY AS PI
(A disheveled, mousy, bespeckled middle aged man in a chalk-blotched corduroy sports jacket with suede elbow patches stands at the blackboard)
Alright now I'm watching the clock . . . I'm a little rushed for time so focus, focus, focus. Remember, algebra is a very precise science; it's not difficult, it's just intricate so if you keep your notes clear and concise, you'll do just fine. OK now today I'm going to teach you a brand new way to multiply our old friend the polynomial called The FOIL method. First, outer, inner, last -F-O-I-L. Remember the rules, keep them clear in your mind and you'll do just fine. Multiply all numerals, add all exponents. Numerals multiply, add exponents -- exponents add, numerals multiply. Carry the coefficients. Coefficients are efficient. Clear and concise. First, outer, inner, last -- F-O-I-L. Now you could have done outer, inner, last, first -- OIL F, but that's trig and you don't need to concern yourself with that . . . this week. I encourage you to ask questions at any time. Last weeks' dearth of questions was reflected quite clearly in your quiz results which I will get to later on. No, I'm very very sorry, as you all know, there are no oral questions on Wednesdays.
In your textbook tonight's homework begins on page 265 and spills over to 266 -- do not forget to turn the page. Please do problems 1 through 37 odd plus 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 16, 18, 22, 26, 28, 30, and 34. Please be clear and concise with your answers. Extra is extraneous. Now for those of you who would like some extra credit, you can do any of the remaining even numbered problems, omitting all questions with three part answers as I give extra credit in binary integrals as you all know. The correct answers for tonight's homework assignment can be found on page 575 -- do not use them.
Now I'd like everybody to quickly take out two pieces of paper, we're going to be having a quiz and . . . There's no need for wining, we are having the quiz tomorrow but in order to save time I'd like to prepare the quiz templates right now. Alright, on the first sheet, 1 3/8 inches from the left margin please number 1 through 17. Quickly quickly! Separate the second sheet into 1 3/8 inch square blocks in a brick-like grid using your straight edge. Please work efficiently, I'm a little pressed for time. As you know, clear and concise is synonymous with nice. Upper right corner of page one, last name first name middle initial. Initials only on page two. Show all work clearly on page two, answers only on page one and remember -- black and blue pen only. Red pen is pigpen, red pen is pigpen. Now for those of you who would like to type your quiz grids, my only requirement is that you use . . . yes, corrassable bond.
Last week we had a pop quiz on parallelograms and if you remember correctly, I said I'd return all quizzes having to do with geometric shapes no more than 6 school days after it was administered unless interrupted by a holiday or the administration of an intermittent test, which took place last Friday and thus hastens the grading of the previous quiz. I've collated your graded papers so that they can be distributed in reverse alphabetical order and then within each specific letter group, numerically from highest grade to lowest. For an explanation of the reasons behind this method, please submit a written query before the end of the week unless you've done so in the past, in which case you are already privy. I am somewhat disappointed in the results of last weeks quiz and hence, I've assigned each paper a latitudinal and longitudinal coordinate corresponding to the X-Y-Z axis inscribed on the floor under your desks. At the start of tomorrow's class, please relocate your desks according to the specific noted coordinates on your personal quiz template result. As you will see, those who scored highest will find themselves seated on the three sides of an isoceles triangle in the center of the room, while all students whose grades fell below the mean will be seated on the outside of an irregular rhombus that surrounds the aforementioned isoceles triangle. It is my hope that the rhomboid students will gain some much needed insight into the subject of parallelograms at the present, but sadly post-quiz juncture. And as is customary, the student who scored highest on the quiz has received yet another 5 point error buffer good toward a future quiz of their choice. (with a smile) It looks as if Glenn plays his cards right, he may just be completely exempt from the imaginary number system exam coming our way in 3 weeks. Keep up the good work and say hello to your sister for me. She chose to skip the geometric proofs test. Very crafty family.
OK we've got about 41 seconds left so that's just enough time to recite so class please repeat after me -- clear and concise. Very good. Extra is extraneous -- excellent. Less is more -- very nice. And now a brand new one for today -- Minimum is maximum, class . . . again . . . again . . . again . . again. Alright, feel free to use the last 9 or so seconds to talk amongst yourselves . . . . . . . . . . . .