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Simplification

Thoughts are fighting for their way
so much more than they ought today
atop a train that's runaway
increasing in it's speed
I watch the rhythm of the land
as it flies by I understand
that hills and trees and rivers grand
have everything I need

Experimental convolution's
ruining my constitution
Too much fatty food for thought
is poisoning the feed
Like Newton did in days gone by
ideas an apple in his eye
he cut right to the core and
needed nothing but a seed

This thinking better cease
Give me a little peace

Simplification
My motivation

Take a trip to England
to a place that's older than dirt
beauty that's spine tinglin'
finally finding a loss for words

Cast aside all luxury
the only thing deluxe should be
a setting for the ideas
that you're getting in your mind
Take the ones you want to use
throw them in a centrifuge
Spin it and when finished
open up and you will find

My brain is in a whirl
I'm searching for that pearl

Simplification
Mental vacation
____________________
Purple Burt

Purple Burt eats green beans, orange porridge and red bread
Purple Burt drinks blue juice, wears pink mink and black slacks
Purple Burt smokes hope dope;
his brain is a kaleidoscope
Purple Burt is color blind, Purple Burt's invisible
I'm Purple Burt, you're Purple Burt, I'm . . .

Purple Burt rides the side of a rainbow
He's got one zillion color t.v.'s
Purple Burt dreams of skiing Pluto
as he naps in a prism tree
Purple Burt stays alert by eating lots of purple dirt
Purple Burt is color blind, Purple Burt's invisible
I'm Purple Burt, you're Purple Burt

Purple Burt has a brother, Purple Herbert
Herbert lives in a tin of herbal sherbet
He spends his days slurping and burping

Purple Burt drives to work on his snapping turtle named Kurt
He keeps gasses sealed in glasses;
all of these are inert
Purple Burt can't exert,
his little purple heart is hurt
Purple Burt is color blind, Purple Burt's invisible
I'm Purple Burt, you're Purple Burt
___________________

Mr. Sir

Hey Mr. Sir
That toupee' looks like rabbit fur
So long in the tooth
and still you think you're youthful
Mr. Sir
What's more important is interior
You'd be better off to hide that, to be truthful

Mr. Sir
Your wife is twenty years your junior
You should try to love her while you're still active
Mr. Sir
You're the college girl's adulterer
It's a crime your daughter finds you unattractive

Hey Mr. Sir
Have a nice day, Mr. Sir
I mean go away, Mr. Sir!

Hey Mr. Sir
You're a fifty year old teenager
who'll play spin the bottle only once it's empty
Mr. Sir
Have you bribed your new tax auditor?
It's the only gamble you win consistently

Hey Mr. Sir
I wish you the best, Mr. Sir
But only in jest, Mr. Sir

You look real neato in a new tuxedo
but your bloated libido doesn't fit in a Speedo
You act so distinguished as if you were English
but the title you think you have was relinquished
long ago . . .

Hey Mr. Sir
You're a very wealthy barrister
who snatches all his cash from the poor and guilty
Mr. Sir
The perfect role model murderer
whose conscience was all gone before the time of Uncle Milty

Hey Mr. Sir
So you're doing well, Mr. Sir?
Well then go to hell, Mr. Sir!

Hey Mr. Sir
Grrrrrrrrr!
____________________

Don't Get the Gods Mad

Your superiors
have one up on you
All that fear of yours
powers what they do
in your behalf

Beings in the clouds,
give one more chance to me
Someday you'll be proud
of my piety
I swear, this time

Don't get the gods mad . . .

Just ask the masters what they do for their pleasure
Some of those bastards dole out doom in their leisure time

I want food and love
That's why this baby cries
Mom and Dad above me
I'm the apple in your eyes
but kids grow rotten

Could you tell the boss
I won't be coming in
I need the day off
after last night's drinking binge
He won't miss me

Don't get the gods mad . . .

Once upon a time all mortal men lived as equals
It is a crime some lesser guy wrote the sequel book

Mr. Movie Star
May I take your photograph?
Suppose we expose
your whole darker half
with my camera

It is judgment day
for our special family
Do just what I say
and live for eternity
You must trust me

Don't get the gods mad . . .
____________________

Clickin' and Surfin'

I'm clickin' and surfin', I'm circlin' the earth and
I used to be human, now I'm a mouse
I'm watchin' my modem slowly downloadin'
thinking that one day I may leave the house
I'm thinking that some day I may leave the house

I'm reading through emails, weeding through females
looking for someone who speaks the same font
This digital flirting is so disconcerting
An analog girlfriend is all that I want
An analog girlfriend is all that I want

So TCPIPPPISDNter.com
http:/backlash ad nauseum

I'm sittin' and frettin' but still internettin'
as java and jpegs jump from the screen
As dollars are debting my appetite's whetting
The fee for such access ain't all that's obscene
If only they had this when I was thirteen!

I'm clickin' and surfin'
____________________

This Friend

I have this friend who's going through tough times lately
and he feels really alone
I recommend his chances would improve greatly
if he'd just answer the phone

If I were him, and thank god I'm not, but if I were
I would go to a shrink
In the interim, on his behalf I am counting
on you to say what you think

He could use your advice, he could use it
He could use your advice or he may lose it

He's in a rut and I tell you what he needs
is a whole new life to embrace
But in my gut I'd be too afraid to change
if I put myself in his place

He could use your advice, he could use it
He'd improve with your advice so he'll refuse it

When you know someone as well as you know yourself
you can't help feel their pain
So you hope some sympathy is a show of help
but helplessness remains

This is the last verse and I can tell you
me and my friend are starting to sweat
If you need more time to ponder our situation
I'll make this a novelette

We could use your advice, we could use it
We could use your advice or we may lose it
____________________

Indian Giver

She was his young squaw and he was her scout
They consummating
They consummating
He ask to marry and she be so proud
No hesitating
No hesitating

Smoke signals billow above their bedroom
Near tribes receive it
Near tribes receive it
Has not been such howling in many a moon
Foxes come heed it
Foxes come heed it

She paint her face up while his skin get red
She add a war stripe
She add a war stripe
She catch him wearing a dress on his head
She smash the peace pipe
She smash the peace pipe

The creep, he built a teepee for his sweet pea, now she weepie
Oh Oh Oh Indian Giver
No No Indian Giver
Oh Oh Indian Giver

He gave her his heart then he take it away
Now she do rain dance
Now she do rain dance
He think that life is a dear hunting game
Now she do war chants
Now she do war chants

The creep, he built a teepee for his sweet pea, now she weepie
Oh Oh Oh Indian Giver
No No Indian Giver
Oh Oh Indian Giver

Giving gift, a sacred act
Making rift when take it back
If you miffed then fist do pack
Spirit lift if face you smack

He promise warmth but he only do pelt her
Now she crying a river
Now she crying a river
One man for two women is too fertile delta
She need your skin back so she no more shiver

The creep, he built a teepee for his sweet pea, now she weepie
Oh Oh Oh Indian Giver

He gave her his heart then he take it away
____________________

Today Night

Ooh hoo hoo hoo, we do love
Together
Today Night!

I see you dancing at the disco
D - I - S - C - O
The thing in my pants, he really go go go
G - O G - O - G - O

Ooh hoo hoo hoo, we do love
Together
Today Night!

American hair, American eyes
American head, American ankle
American mouth, American thigh
I want American my!

Ooh hoo hoo hoo, we do love
Together
Today Night!

Girl, I'm a guy
Girl, I'm a guy
Girl, I'm a guy
Girl, I'm a guy

Ooh hoo hoo hoo!

Ooh hoo hoo hoo, we do love
Together
Today Night!

Ooh hoo hoo hoo, we do love
Forever
Today Night!
____________________

At the Broken Heart Shop

"Good morning. I'm sorry. How can I help you?"
questioned the man who stood at the counter.
"My woman has left me. She took little bits of my ticker.
I think I need a repair."
"It's worse than you thought. You're missing a chamber.
Here is loaner, come back in three days."
The customer smiled, though rather meekly,
whispered a "thank you" and skulked out the door
At the Broken Heart Shop
At the Broken Heart Shop

"Good morning. I'm sorry. How can I help you?"
questioned the man who stood at the counter.
"The unit you loaned me suffered a rupture
after a beautiful girl said hello."
"Your timing is perfect. The chamber you needed
has been replaced. Pay me $10.98."
The customer exchanged the money and organs
and gingerly tiptoed out the red door
At the Broken Heart Shop
At the Broken Heart Shop

"Good morning. I'm sorry. How can I help you?"
questioned the worker, a bit annoyed.
"I've been unlucky for the third time.
I saw a sad movie. It split into slivers."
"You'll need a whole new one. I've done all I can for you.
I would suggest that you never leave home."
The customer whimpered, acknowledged the advice
and defeatedly walked to the street
At the Broken Heart Shop
At the Broken Heart Shop

"Some folks have no luck"
the customer thought.
"All of this love stuff could be for naught."

The customer came back, just three days later,
to return his one heart. He had given up.
But behind the counter there now stood a lady;
angelic, voluptuous, available.
"How can I help you?" asked the new woman.
"I think I love you. Can I share your heart?"
They signed an agreement and agreed to meet
the next evening, shortly past closing time.
At the Broken Heart Shop
At the Broken Heart Shop

The following morning the man was awakened
by a tremendously loud and sweet sound.
He thought he was dreaming, but much to his horror
the Happiness Hydrogen Bomb had been dropped.
All living creatures, forever and ever
would now be ecstatic and filled up with love.
He ran at his fastest to meet his new woman,
The sign on the door said "CLOSED FOR GOOD".
At the Broken Heart Shop
At the Broken Heart Shop
____________________

I See You

I see you seeing me
I see me seeing thee

I'm a 20/20 something guy
with a whole lotta lovely in my eyes
closed wishing that we were kissing
they open and we are

I see you seeing me
I see us saying we

All kidding aside, here's looking at you
Clearly I'm hoping you share my view
through glasses half full and tinted with
shades and hues of blush

Focus on the future if you can
Make your past a blur
Hocus pocus sleight of hand in hand
A him to her
____________________

Indoor Wildlife

Saw a mouse in my apartment last night
Asked him "Where you goin' partner?"
He said "Home, home under the range
My campfire is your pilot light
Crumbs and drips the only fodder
So please choose cheese for a change"
Hey suddenly I'm Gulliver on my own grange

Indoor wildlife
Not your ideal tableaux
Rather be a hobo
then sit and squirm in urban vermin

Rats and roaches grazing on some garbage as fluffy dust balls roll by
Spiders hanging out in homemade hammocks in a corner of the sky
A hundred watt sun beats down on the hardwood floor
A caravan of ants surround a sandwich like they're above the law

Set some traps in my apartment today
Start of critter lynching season
Black flag flying with pride
Revolting in this home of the brave
is the vilest kind of treason
So die by insecticide
Hey, putting my foot down has got me gratified

Indoor wildlife
Not your ideal tableaux
Rather be a hobo
then sit and squirm in urban vermin
____________________

To Be There For You

You can't catch a cab when it rains in New York,
and you can't get a two month old infant to walk,
and you can't drink the wine before you pop the cork
But you can count on me to be there for you
You can count on me to be there for you

You can't read a book if you sit in the dark,
and you can't climb a tree if you don't grab the bark,
and you can't yell "Who goes there!" without shouting "Hark!"
But you can count on me to be there for you
You can count on me to be there for you

Reliable, I'm so reliable
I'm liable to be quite desirable
I dare you to find a viable
alternative to me and you

You can't raise your voice if you don't have a tongue,
and you can't be too old if you've never been young
and you can't be a porn star if you're not well hung
But you can count on me to be there for you
You can count on me to be there for you

Reliable, I'm so reliable
I'm liable to be quite desirable
I'll swear on a pile of bibles,
anything you wish is my command

It's easy to dream up
a way for us to team up;
Just fade the love theme up
and follow my script

A train has no end if there is no caboose,
and you can't squeeze a fruit without producing juice
A gang cannot hang you unless there's a noose
But you can count on me to be there for you
You can count on me to be there for you
____________________

A Lost Clown

I slowly shuffle along the street
Red oversized shoes on my feet
Caked facial makeup streaks from the heat
My baggy polka-dotted pants are sagging 'cause they're soiled

All kinds of circus freaks pass me by
and enter buildings that scrape the sky
They're really not that different than I,
except they have a place to eat and sleep which makes them spoiled

I'm a lost clown
can somebody help me?
Somebody help me to find my way around
I'll wear a frown until somebody tells me
where to find the children who will laugh at me in this town

I juggle soda cans for a dime
or even do some tired, old mime
Most anything to pass the time
until Mr. Ringling and his brothers come to find me

My head still hurts from when I was mugged
by a pack of screaming thugs who were drugged
They crushed my pompom hat and I'm bugged
but I've got my bloodied bow tie and bent horn just to remind me

I'm a lost clown
can somebody help me?
Somebody help me to find my way around
I'll wear a frown until somebody tells me
where to find the children who will laugh at me in this town

A city sidewalk isn't where to do a pratfall
unless your curly wig can help you tune-out catcalls
This is one unfriendly big top
The ringleaders all dress as cops
Trapeze accidents happen all day

I am devoted to entertain
A day without applause causes pain,
but no one claps on a subway train
Why are people so afraid to express enjoyment?

Birthday parties are everywhere. . .
The sights and sounds of a country fair. . .
These memories are too much to bear
for a circus type whose biggest gripe is hopeless unemployment

I'm a lost clown
can somebody help me?
Somebody help me to find my way around
I'll wear a frown until somebody tells me
where to find the children who will laugh at me in this town
____________________

All The Best to You and Yours

As klieglights sweep across the starry sky,
heaven knows it must be time to say goodbye
Tiny teardrops rinse the twinkle from my eyes
So before you head for the exit door
I wish you

All the best to you and yours