THIS IS A SONG

This is a song
and this is a verse
There will be three
This one is first
Story begins
and melody grows
leading into
the part we all know

This is the chorus
This is the chorus
This is the chorus
You see how it repeats
This is the chorus
This is the chorus
This is the chorus
And now we will proceed to

Verse number two
Similar yes
The melody stays
but lyrics progress
That added guitar
is something to do
to get you worked up
as we head into

Another chorus
Another chorus
Another chorus
Pretty much the same
Another chorus
Another chorus
And now before us
we have the middle eight

This is the part of the song
where the meaning is often
spelled out in a literal fashion
to clarify anything poetic or
that was hinted at up to this point
Since it will only last for eight bars
which is a short time compared to
the previous sections
feel free to continue
to ruminate further
as we now move on to a solo

Verse number three
Familiar old friend
Summing things up
so near to the end
Everything left
that needs to be said
is nothing compared
to what lies ahead

The final chorus
The final chorus
The final chorus
Sung with lots of strength
The final chorus
The final chorus
The final chorus
is also twice the length

The final chorus (with extra words)
The final chorus (with extra words)
The final chorus (with extra words)
that blend together here
The final chorus (5 seconds left)
The final chorus (4 seconds left)
The final chorus (3 seconds left)
before we disappear

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MY DUMB LUCK

Half a cup
just will not fill up
My dumb luck's no good

Horse shoe on the door
fell and hit the floor
Crushed my rabbit's foot

Won a lottery
stuck in bankruptcy
My misfortune's vast

Went and pinned the tail
but the donkey bailed
What a sorry ass

Flip a coin, join the superstitious
Be resigned to what you find
'cause in time
your dumb luck could turn
For that i burn

On top a ladder sat
my black hissing cat
13 rungs above

It jumped and broke its fall
cracking my mirror ball
when i gave it a shove

Oiji board says "What?"
gives me paper cut
Now my palm is red

Floating leaves in tea
spell "You're kidding me"
Sympathy is dead

Throw the dice, twice the chance for trouble
Probability's aloof
and I know, my dumb luck is proof
May it go poof!

So when the dawn begins to break
will my dumb luck awaken?

And you may say that luck is tenuous
And you may say that luck is for the birds
And yet you try to earn the angels' fuss
I bet they never heard your praying

Survived a shipwreck
with fans of star trek
All of them were male

Found a diamond ring
stolen from a king
My reward was jail

That's the story of my dumb luck
Lest you think i am just some shmuck
my dumb luck remains

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LITTLE MASTERPIECE

The painter places her final stroke
then slowly steps back so to soak in
every inch of her work of art
full of all of her soul and heart

That's my little masterpiece
a brand new creative release
From me to you
From me to you
Yeah, me to you

The new momma nurses her baby boy
You know he's her perfect pride and joy
As she suckles her first son
she thinks "He's the best thing I've ever done"

He's my little masterpiece
a brand new creative release
From me to you
From me to you
Yeah, me to you

A new planet now complete
so God kicks up his tired feet
There's resources and room to roam
so all you dwellers, welcome home!

Use my little masterpiece
a brand new creative release
From me to you
From me to you
Yeah, me to you

A common cliche' that's spoken today
says art imitates life
But life is an art form
that cannot be mastered
and once it's done, art lives as a bastard

The bomber gives a final glance
but this time nothing's left to chance
Ultimate victory will be his
as he blows himself to bits

Here's my little masterpiece
a brand new creative release
From me to you
From me to you
Yeah, me to you

------------------------------------------------------

MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME

Unwind
Take a load off your mind and recline
Make yourself at home

Get some rest
If you want, take a nap, be my guest
Make yourself at home

How do you get rid of the stress?
Show me how to get it off my chest
How do you ignore all the noise?
Tell me how to clear my head of the voice

Make yourself at home

Home isn't sweet
and I don't wear hats
Quiet and peace don't even phone

Content
is the way you should feel laying there
You're meant
to relax without even a care
Make yourself at home

Forget
that I'm sitting in the other room
Just let
your mind go while I contemplate doom
Make yourself at home

How do you release all the pain?
Teach me how to open up the drain
How do you live with yourself?
Help me to retain my mental health

Make yourself at home
(Get me outta here)

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KEEP IT A SECRET

From your bowl of Oatie-O's
Benny Banana whispered a warning
You leaned in and listening
filled up your mouth
and mind through the morning

If all that he told you
is all that you told me
my advice to you would be to

Keep it a secret
Someone might kill you for that
Keep it a secret

What if it got out?
What if it ran?
Just stick your tongue out
and trip it up while you can

History spins like a dish
atop a pole on the Sullivan show
If infamy is not your wish
give it a nudge
while it's teetering slowly

The future of mankind
and possibly more
all depends on if you choose to

Keep it a secret
Someone might love you for that
Keep it a secret

Is it a rumour?
Is it a plan?
Would food use humor
to stick it to the man?

From your bowl of Oatie-O's
Barry Blueberry
mumbled good morning . . .

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THE MAN THAT TALKED TOO MUCH

Always rehearsing the art of conversing
by rapidly dispersing words

The man that talked too much
had a diction addiction
which clouded his nouns
and verbs with verbiage
even unclear to Shakespearian heritage

The man that talked too much

The man that talked too much
could not hear himself thinking
His dabble in gab'll assist you in Scrabble
but you'll never topple his tower of babble

The man that talked too much

The man that talked too much
met the woman that never listened
The man that talked too much was speechless
He was speechless
He was speechless

The man that talked too much
asked the woman for some kissing
The man that talked too much was smitten
but she bit him
He was smitten
but she spit him out

The man that talked too much
preferred violence to silence
A harangue of slang, insults and sarcasm
jumped from his tongue
in a bungeeing spasm

The man that talked too much was
taught that if you speak
like dictionary leak
it is a fine technique
for showing he's a geek
and he'd be better off
if he just shut his beak

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CRACK THE CASE

Opportunity knocks on my door
after twenty years on the local force
I will show what my badge is for
Here's my chance to even the score
No more duty at a desk
I will rise above the rest

'Cause this time, yeah this time
I will crack the case
alone
I will crack the case

Promotion's a notion
that is foremost in my mind
when I solve this crime

These criminals are no match for me
Thinking fast will be the key
The FBI's a bureaucracy
I'll handle this personally
No more paperwork at night
decoration's in my sight

Because this time, yeah this time
I will crack the case
alone
I will crack the case

Emotion's a potion
I am feeling energized
Lead me to the prize

Because this time, yeah this time
I will crack the case
alone
I will crack the case

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AS MOONS GO

There's nothing for sure
so perfectly pure
or has more allure
than a kiss
With lust in my eyes
you deem it unwise
At least please
indulge me in this?

As moons go,
this one is luminous and bright
As moons go,
the sun is swooning through the night
Romance may wane
but chance remains
this night so glorious for us,
as moons go

With such universal appeal
your pull on my heart strings is real
A relationship, can I land it?
Without you I shant even plan it

No dream can eclipse
the gleam of your lips
after we shared sips of champagne
My countdown fell short
on your mission abort
Is it lunacy to still proclaim . . .?

As moons go,
that one was luminous and bright
As moons go,
the sun was crooning through the night
Poetic I wax
but let's face the facts
That night was glorious for us,
as moons go

------------------------------------------------------

BLACKOUT

There's a lack of light
in the sky tonight
What a pretty sight
BLACKOUT

Candlesticks were lit
Couples made a kid
Thank the power grid
BLACKOUT

Things like this don't happen
' round here very often
Just goes to show you
how repetitive our life is

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IN THE KNOW

Ever since the days of primary school
been jealous of the ways
of the smart and the cool
Casually first, always with the last word
I wish I had a ticket to hear what they heard

Now I have a job and I'm needing a raise
A couple of my cronies receive all the praise
They're fast with facts and figures,
I'm beat to the punch
It's slightly more than insight
or heavenly hunch

You're heading in the right direction
Turn left at the intersection
of Social Circle and Easy Way
Spy the light bulb and entree'

In The Know
A secret spot for those who run the show
In The Know
Where fortunes and reputations grow
Oh my son you've been blessed
with info you could never guess

Promising stocks, shipments at docks
Winning horses, cheap divorces, easy bosses
Passwords and codes, discounted clothes
Special tables, lower taxes,
free cable, backstage access

Power is a privilege some would abuse
taking full advantage as a Who's Who
Being an insider is all that I need
A life of peace and pleasure
would be guaranteed

Good evening sir, may I remind you
that your I.D. is your I.Q.?
Our main course is microfiche
but first won't you enjoy some quiche?

In The Know
Where the fancy and the future famous go
In The Know
The most important word you'll hear's "Hello"

Throw your past life away
From now on you'll need to stay
In The Know

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SHE'S DYNAMITE!

Check out that chick over there
Electric eyes and fiery hair
When our lips meet we'll both ignite
Shaboom Shaboom - She's Dynamite!

She's the juice that's in my wire
We're the match that starts a fire
Tigress tigress burning bright
Shaboom Shaboom - She's Dynamite!

There's no question who's in charge
See my Private salute her Sarge
She'll blow your mind to smithereens
once you pump her gasoline

My Bic
Her wick
One hard flick and tick tock tick, yeah!

What a blast it would be
to tap some of her energy
mc2 = she
One hot piece of T.N.T.

C'mon babe and drop that bomb
Send us both to Kingdom Come
The heat you make is hot and white
Shaboom Shaboom - She's Dynamite!

We'll explode as one tonight
Shaboom Shaboom - She's Dynamite!

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I HAVE NEVER LIED

I have never lied to anyone,
that kind of thing is done by liars
I have never lied to anyone,
that was my brother who yelled "Fire!"
Everything I've ever said is true
especially all the things I said to you
If I ever lied to anyone
I would know because I'm honest

I have never cried to anyone,
that kind of thing is done by babies
I have never cried to anyone,
no matter how absorbent they be
Every tear I'll ever shed, I'd hide
This is really easy when you stay inside
If I ever cried to anyone
I would laugh because I'm lying

I swear to tell the whole truth
and nothing but the truth, so help me God,
but I'm left handed

I will never side with anyone,
that kind of thing is done by losers
I will never side with anyone
Who said that beggars can't be choosers?
All opinions people have are wrong,
except, of course, the ones that you hear
in this song
If I ever side with anyone
it's because I cleaned my mirror

I will never die for anyone,
that kind of thing is done by people
I will never die for anyone,
just to eat dirt beneath a steeple
Every minute I'm alive will be
a new chance to hear my name read on t.v.
If I ever die for anyone
they had better take full credit

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OFTEN I SAUNTER

In the rush, rush, rush of the day
see the push and the crush
of the people parade
Riding cars, bikes, buses and trains
through the Mach V circus
of Ringmaster Fray
They've no time to clown

In the hush, hush, hush of the night
Near the plush of the pillow
and the shush of polite
Fighting slapstick happenstance dreams
with a keystone 'copter
cropping the scenes
It's time they slow down

So often I saunter
for want of a better way
Often I saunter
about . . .

About 1 pm, adjoin to them
a gent with a gradual gait
They buzz and blur but I prefer
simply to perambulate
A slow-motion potentate

About 1 am, en route to REM
as masses and watches unwind
They snore and stir but next to her
I'm utterly calm and supine
An otter aloft in brine

It is such, such, such a short life
We are specs of dust
in eternity's eyes
With so much, much, much far and wide
watch us brush, brush, brush
every detail aside
They don't see my frown

So often I saunter
for want of a better way
Often I saunter
about . . .