DINNER FOR NONE

"Welcome. Tonight's dinner consists of chocolate covered spinach
and licorice pizza hors d'oeuvres, gingerly dipped in breadcrumbs,
tobasco sauce and vanilla ice cream, sandwiched between warm
lettuce leaves dripping with chicken fat and served on oreos for
an appetizer. For the main course: congealed meatloaf and prune
soup paste, lopped over a raw bacon slab stuffed with bubble gum
and whipped cream, then gently deep-fried in year-old oil with
sand. Served with side orders of: cold dry spagetti mousse float-
ing in cream cheese and orange juice, and a small dish of steamed
saltines. For dessert, a choice of: scrambled eggs with shells in
banana jello, or raw clam meringue pie, or chicklets and candy
corn frozen in beer, or a refreshing glass of dishwater."

THRASH DASH

1-2-3-4
punk junk flunk drunk gunk spunk dunk stunk bunk sunk hunk skunk
1-2-3-4
smash trash crash bash slash mash clash gash brash lash stash ash
1-2-3-4
punk dash stunk flash trunk ash hunk hash funk thrash shrunk cash
1-2-3
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
1-2-3
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
1-2-3
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
1-2-3-4
punk punk punk punk punk punk punk punk punk punk

BAD VIBES

They take a midnight drive, goin' 95, to a seedy dive where the
low-lifes thrive just to imbibe 'till their brains get fried,
then they dance/collide. Lookin' beedy-eyed, they speak of bribe,
then threaten lives playin' games with knives and if you can't
confide or you're speakin' snide they'll get evil-eyed like
Bonnie and Clyde so you'd better hide or . . . homocide.
Ooooooooooooooh, Bad Vibes

When a member of some cult or tribe, whose dislike is wide 'cause
they dress drip-dried as they abuse wives, strides to your side and
talks contrived, trying to deride with vile lies and diatribe just
to kill your pride, which your nice inside could just let slide.
So you get tongue-tied, wanna skin their hide with your ugly side
but instead you cry, cry, cry. If something doesn't jive with this
change of tide I have just described, this can be applied tooooooo
Bad Vibes

LA BOMBA

No, no, no droppa la bomba
You will kill all of de mamas if you do dis thing
And all de people be somba
since one will not be de numba where de freedom ring
So children sing
So children sing/this plea we bring

Cop la bomba
Flop la bomba
Stop la bomba
Calm la bomb

No try to toppa la bomba
Save all de mula and shoppa for fellow man
Buy food and fuel to be proppa
We can be a coopa-rating land
So all join hands
So all join hands and

Cop la bomba
Flop la bomba
Stop la bomba
Calm la bomb

No, no, no droppa la bomba

CHANTS OF RAIN

Buckets, buckets, cats and dogs
Wet the meadows into bogs
Rain enough to float some logs
Buckets, buckets, cats and dogs

Buckets, buckets, cats and dogs
Soak the lillies for the frogs
Make a mudbath for the hogs
Buckets, buckets, cats and dogs

I'M GONNA ROCK MY BABY TONIGHT

I'm gonna rock, rock, rock my baby tonight
I'm gonna treat my, treat my, baby right

I'm gonna crank her tunes and make like a clown
Then I'll cradle her when the sun goes down

They say her talk is mostly dribble
but she's alright when she starts to scribble

I'm gonna rock, rock, rock my baby tonight
I'm gonna rock her till she's pink and blue
I'm gonna treat my, treat my baby right
If you rock hard you could have one too

She turns me on with her high pitched shrills
When she warms my heart she give me chills

My baby wouldn't be a crier
if I couldn't pacify her

I'm gonna rock, rock, rock my baby tonight
I'm gonna rock her in the morning light
I know my baby'll be alright
as long as she's in my sight
tonight

FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time in a land far away
there lived a couple who was happy and gay
The couple knew they were taking a chance
"What will they think? We both wear the pants."

Very nearby lived a grouchy, rich man
Who go all his money from leasing his land
"How dare that couple be happy that way!
Besides the rent, how shall they pay?"

Each day he watched them through the trees
"They have a filthy mind disease!"
The man soon vowed to set them straight
or free their minds at any rate

"The sooner the better," the man proclaimed
"Your kind of animal must be tamed."

The couple moved to somewhere else
The man had ruined their mental health

The moral to this story is:
The object of life is to be able to live

I NEED A HUG

I need a hug
I need to snuggle-up
To feel the warmth that will bubble up
when people double up
I need a hug

I'm not speaking of sex
and I'm not talking 'bout kissing
The squeeze and the relax
is what I have been missing

I need a hug
I need to cuddle-up
into a two person huddle-up
to make all my trouble stop
I need a hug

'Cause no amount of beer to chug
nor snappy, happy, crappy drug
could send my emotions to the ceiling
like the up-uplifting feeling
of a hug

To feel as snug as a bug in a rug
would really tug my heart strings
But just some old fuddy-duddy won't do,
it must be some buddy's body, like you

I need a hug